The power of vulnerability changes everything
It’s the one thing we don’t want others to see in us, but it’s the first thing we look for in others.
At times we shut down and shun vulnerability because we don’t want others to know that we don’t have it all together. All the time.
Being real, being raw, being authentic, laying bare your flaws and discovering your voice can have massive power. Standing in who you are, owning your strengths and weaknesses and accepting who you are in all your beautiful messy glory is an amazingly powerful habit to cultivate.
Most people have been raised to believe that vulnerability equals weakness. But it doesn’t. There is incredible strength and courage in vulnerability. We must live in the space of vulnerability.
Vulnerability is not just about fear and grief and disappointment it is indeed the birth place of everything we are hungry for : joy, creativity, faith, love and innovation.
There is none of that – love, joy, creativity, faith or innovation – without risk. We must be open enough to risk failing. We must be open enough for things not to work out. To go back to the drawing board. To start again. To have our hearts broken. To not sell out. To have critics.
Being vulnerable is taking a risk.
But when you take the risk to live whole heartedly and be vulnerable you realise you’re just like everybody else. Vulnerability is the cornerstone of confidence. You can’t get to courage and confidence without walking through vulnerability. Full stop.
There are two fears that all humans share – that we are not enough and that we wont be loved.
And being open to vulnerability is a powerful step to transform your life and your business.
We push away vulnerability because we think we have to be ‘perfect’ – that we can’t let people see us when we don’t have our “shit together”.
According to Elizabeth Gilbert – perfectionism is a fancy version of fear – it’s fear in six inch heels, a fur coat and a pearl necklace. It’s fear in disguise. Perfectionism is the ultimate fear – because we are ultimately afraid that the world will see us for who we really are.
So today, I wanted to be especially vulnerable in this post. To open up and share who I really am.
Even writing this post – part of my mind is cropping up thinking that it has to be perfect. But even if helps just one person see that you are perfect they way you are, no matter what then I have achieved my aim.
– I swear. More than I care to admit.
– I talk in my sleep.
– On the subject of sleep – I can’t sleep without socks on.
– When working from home I often work in my pyjama pants. Or a comfy pair of yoga pants.
– I wear glasses for driving, movies, concerts etc – I’m short sighted.
– I love chocolate. And I have a love affair with cheese. Like, I am talking if there is cheese in the room at a party you have to hold me back otherwise that baby will be gone in 2 seconds flat.
– I don’t always eat the best. See the chocolate and cheese above. I’m all about balance.
– I love green smoothies, swear by cleansing and in summer live on fresh salads.
– White Converse low top sneakers are my go to footwear of choice. I have loved them since year 10 in high school and have owned so. many. pairs.
– I have naturally curly hair – which I straighten, regularly.
– I have an obsession with travel. If I’m not travelling I am either talking about it or planning my next adventure.
– I love sleeping in. I’m a night owl and my mind comes alive at all hours of the evening with fresh and exciting ideas.
– I am strangely addicted to strawberry body butter from The Body Shop.
– I love 80s music & 90s hits. I know all the words to the Fresh Prince theme song, random rap songs and old school tunes. – I can remember way too many lines from way too many movies. I have been known to quote movies regularly when ordinary words escape me.
– I get excited about random things. Like extremely excited.
– I love baking cookies, I make a mean nachos + guac and thank God my partner can cook because we might be in trouble if he couldn’t.
– I’m grateful for my life and for my experiences but I’m not where I thought I would be at this age. That’s okay. It keeps me motivated for more.
– I have moments where I consider throwing in the towel and stopping what I am doing with building my business and my brand – but then I remember that this is my life and I want to live on my terms.
– My partner is the most important person to me and I am beyond grateful that we are on this journey together. I knew from the moment that I met him that he was the guy for me.
– I’m really close with my mum and my nan. They are both pretty freaking rad women who I owe my entire existence to and everything I am is because of them.
– I loved ballroom dancing before it was cool and I can do the moonwalk.
– I get frustrated big time when I loose at Monopoly. But freaking kick ass in UNO.
– I think if I met Taylor Swift, Anna Kendrick or Emma Stone we’d totally be best friends.
– I moved around a lot when I was younger. I wish that I had a big strong knit friendship group from my childhood/teen years – a total of 10 schools kinda means I don’t. If anything it has taught me resilience and how to strike up a conversation with a stranger.
– As a consequence of moving around my high school experience was extremely varied. I have been teased at one school, so called popular at another school, felt invisible at another and voted college captain and sports captain at another. I feel it has created an adult who is adaptable and resilient – and wont be pigeon holed.
– I believe in life after death. I’m into so called woo-woo/spiritual stuff. Conversations about Reiki, personal development, regressions, past lives, kinesiology, auras, books by Brian Weiss, James Van Praagh, Deepak Chopra were all a staple in my upbringing.
– I went to my first personal development seminar at 15. At 18 I went to another one and it completely changed my life – in a very literal way. I started working for the company, got started on the path that I am on today and even met my gorgeous guy through working for them.
– I don’t give a crap about small talk. Tell me what you believe, who you admire, what you dream of, what makes you laugh. I want to get to know you. I don’t really care that the weather is cold/hot… whatever. Jump straight in with the juicy conversation please.
– I used to play basketball and wanted to be the first female Harlem Globetrotter – but didn’t realise there had already been a few. I used to play competitively and represent the state but I had to stop playing because of a knee injury. It is one thing that I really miss.
– I love yoga – and wish I did it more.
– One of my biggest fears is loosing my guy, the love of my life way too early in life.
– Hazelnut hot chocolates from Starbucks are the bomb diggity.
– I love the snow. But I feel the cold.
– If I laugh too much or too hard I have been known to snort.
– In my former years my bedroom walls were plastered with pictures of Leo DiCaprio (oh dear, what was I thinking?), Backstreet Boys (I still rock out to Evvverrrybody in my car when it comes on the radio) and *NSYNC (I knew Justin Timberlake was destined for awesomeness).
– I think things over and analyse things way more than I should.
– I don’t like secrets, and can’t stand tip toeing around things. I am often either way too objective or too diplomatic.
– It takes a lot to rattle me but when it happens I can get a bit (read: a lot) fired up from time to time. I’m a natural red head after all.
– I sing in the shower and in my car (okay, perform) a lot.
– I’m often easily distracted. And I don’t mean to be. I sometimes don’t finish my sentences or train of thought because I have multiple things swirling around up there.
– People often confuse my sometimes quietness with shyness or stand offish-ness. I am not shy by any means. If I’m not talking, I am listening, observing taking everything in that you said. I’ll be the person that remembers our conversation / that random thing you told me about your day/that funny story years later and bring it up at a later date – yeah I have a long memory.
This is me. This is who I am.
I am learning each day who I am. Each and every day. Who I was yesterday is not who I am today or tomorrow.
I am learning what I stand for. I am learning what I will and will not accept in my life.
We ought to love people because of their vulnerabilities and celebrate them.
Embrace your imperfections, your differences and what makes you, you. Soon you will find that vulnerability is actually kind of awesome. And kind of beautiful. And kind of sexy. And a whole lot of courageous.